London
London is not the place to try to come to grips with that familiar yet puzzling genus we know as Poms or Pommies (Homo Pommus) - the city's characters are too
diverse for clichéd stereotypes. No knotted handkerchiefs on heads, no socks and sandals combos, no Union Jack vests; Arfur Daleys and
Patsy Stones were not evident, fops, toffs and hooray henries were not readily distinguishable and even Sloane Square was devoid of any Rangers. Not all
hopes of spotting the expected native customs were dashed however - at the merest glimpse of sunlight the parks become littered with pastey, bare torsos ensconsed in fold-up chairs, eye-contact on
the Tube remains an egregious social transgression and huge English breakfasts in steamy cafes and room-temperature beer in genial pubs are easy to find.
Westminster Abbey
London for the infrequent visitor is all about its history and its iconic landmarks - the Houses of Parliament and Big Ben, Whitehall and the Churchill
War Rooms, the Tower of London, Buckingham Palace, the Strand, Hyde Park, London Bridge, the London Eye, the British Museum, canals and street markets and so much more. There is
no more a special place for the history buff, however, than Westminster Abbey - host to coronations since 1066 and to the bones of statesmen, scientists, monarchs, heroes
and villains. The Gothic arches, buttresses and stained glass provide the appropriate atmosphere of awe and diffidence and where else can
you stand amongst and on the remains of the likes of Elizabeth 1, Mary Queen of Scots, Charles Darwin, Sir Isaac Newton, William Wilberforce, Charles Dickens, Rudyard Kipling
and a host of others. A magical place.
Tower of London
The Tower of London rates a silver medal behind Westminster Abbey for history-appeal. The scene of intrigues, foul deeds and royal decapitations, home to the Crown Jewels,
the Yeomen Warders of Her Majesty's Royal Palace and Fortress the Tower of London and Members of the Sovereign's Body Guard of the Yeoman Guard Extraordinary (aka Beef Eaters),
the Royal Ravens and Traitor's Gate. Fiction does not trump history - Hogwarts cannot compete with the real thing. An eclectic mix of architectures housed within defensive walls and moat the Tower has served various
purposes including as castle, prison, armoury, treasury, menagerie and the home of the Royal Mint. Henry VIII had Anne Boleyn and Katherine Howard parted
from their heads in invitations-only executions on Tower Green, a pleasant, grassy square. Princes Edward and Richard, 12 & 9, entered the Tower in 1483 never to be seen again and are
commonly believed to have been murdered there by Uncle Richard III. Guy Fawkes was tortured here, later to throw himself from the gallows to break his own neck to
avoid being cut open while still conscious with his guts pulled out and his testicles sliced off. Even Guantanamo Bay considers such
treatment of bomb plotters to be somewhat excessive.
Tower Bridge from within the Tower of London grounds
Accommodation
This is not TripAdvisor - but our London digs in Mayfair are worthy of mention. London is notoriously expensive - London Budget Accommodation is
either an oxymoron or a park bench. I was not keen to repeat our first London experience of having to stand in a suitcase to get changed. No cats had ever been swung in
that place. This time we aced it with 44 Curzon St, Mayfair. A 3 bedroom apartment with 2 bathrooms, kitchen, dining and
lounge rooms. In London! And within a walkable distance to central London. Crikey!
But. There's always a but. Mayfair is swanky and eye-wateringly expensive. The Farraris, Lambos, Rollers and Aston Martins were a very common sight parked in the street.
The Saudi Embassy was next door to our gaff, intriguingly in which the first floor had no lift or fire door access. MI5 spying on the Saudis?
I like to think so.
London calling
